Mother,
where are you?
What Scripture says about the task of the woman in the family
*
REV A VELDMAN
1. INTRODUCTON
The United Nations General Assembly of 8 December 1989
proclaimed 1994 as the international Year of the Family, setting the theme for
the year as ‘Family resources and responsibilities in a changing world.’ This
UN International Year (which now almost has come to an end) was about
stimulating local, national and international actions to Strengthen families as
‘the smallest democracy at the heart of society’.
The aims were to strengthen the functions of care and
nurturing which all families hold in common and to intensify & the resolve
of national Institutions to deve1op, implement and monitor policies which will
support famines.[1]
When one hears this at first, these aims sound very laudable, the more so since
during the last decades of the 20th century family life has come more and more
under attack.
Yet when reading the discussion paper prepared by the
Australian National Council for the international Year of the Family, published
in March 1994, one realises what is behind all this. This National Council was
appointed to advise the Commonwealth Minister for Family Service on Australia's
response to the international Year of the Family (IYF). Amongst other this
response was to include issues and challenges posed by existing social and
economic change which impact on Australian families.[2] As
regards these changes the discussion paper states, Family policies can no
longer be based exclusively and without reflection on a so called ‘traditional’
concept of men as sole breadwinners and women as the child carers.
Following the labour force changes of the last 20 years,
increasing numbers and proportions of families with children have two earners.[3] Since the
early 1970s, women’s labour force participation has increased substantially,
and the most dramatic increases have been for women with children. The report
mentions the following percentages:
In 1980, 46 per cent of the
married women with children were in the labour force. This had increased to 60
per cent in 1993.
In 1993, 53 per cent of couples
with dependent children were both in employment. Where husband and wife were
employed, both worked full-time in 42 per cent of the cases.[4]
As regards the increasing numbers and proportions of
families with children who have two earners the report states, “The primary
reason for being in employment for both men and women is economic. However,
employment also provides a sense of accomplishment, increases self-esteem,
independence and personal satisfaction. Both men and women see their
breadwinning as an extension of their parenting responsibilities, essential to
their family’s standard of living.[5] As a
result husband and wife have to share responsibilities with respect to family
life, particularly where it concerns child care and household work. In this
context amongst others the report pleads for better access to community
set-vices to support work and family choices, including affordable and
appropriate child care of high quality for pre-school age children and
out-of-school hours child care, day care, and day centres.”[6] -Mother, where are you?
All this is based on the fundamental value of equality
between men and women. The report states, “The rights of men and women to be
treated equally in family life, employment and public life derive from the
inherent dignity of the human person. Equality between men and women is based
on the fundamental and equal worth of each person.”[7]
Indeed today it is seen as discriminatory to deny a married
woman the opportunity to have a job and to take part in social life in the same
way as her husband. The burden of raising children should be shared in an
equitable way. It is already a thorn in the flesh of some feminists that only a
woman can bear the burden of being pregnant. However, that is a ‘natural
phenomenon’ which no one can change. (If they could, they certainly would.) The
inequality should not be made worse by forcing a different role upon a women
and denying her equal rights with a man. That’s today’s modem philosophy.
More and more it becomes a rare phenomenon that a mother
stays home all day to run the household. Many consider it degrading for a woman
to be confined to dusting, cooking, and making beds, as it is sometimes called
in a denigrating way. That’s a dull boring job. Intelligent women in this era of
feminism deserve better.[8]
In this paper I would like to address the question how we as
Goes children are supposed to react to this modem philosophy, the reason being
that also within the church we see an increase of working mothers. Yes, is it
wrong when a married woman with children works outside the home. In order to
answer this question properly, we will need to ask what the Bible teaches us
about the place and task of the woman.
2. SCRIPTURAL DATA
Going through some of the scriptural data I would like to
take as starting point Gen. 1. I do so on purpose since the apostle Paul
speaking about the position of man and woman does exactly the same. He does not
simply join the current ideas of his day about women, but he speaks about the
position of the woman from the perspective of the place God has given her with
creation. Thus not the cultural climate of his day determined the teaching of
this apostle of Christ, but instead he led himself be guided by the order of
creation which precedes all cultural ideas that surfaced later on throughout
the ages. Well, that’s why today I too will take my starting point in what, we
read in Gen. 1 about the creation of man and woman.
2.1. CREATION
In Gen. 1: 27 we read, “So God created man in His own image,
in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Thus
creating man in His own image God straight away also made a distinction in
gender. This means that concerning the image of God a society of only men does
not or cannot show this image, nor does or can a society of only women. The
image of God is not a one- sided affair of just one sex. Instead it his pleased
God to establish the riches of His image by creating man male and female; two
sexes that differ from each other, not only bodily but also in many other
respects. Functioning as a male or a female concerns one’s whole being.
From this we learn that today’s emancipation movement which
will make us believe that man and woman are equal does no justice to what
Scripture teaches us. Creating man in His own image God has given both to male
and female each its own characteristics to show this image; characteristics
that complement each other.
After God had created man male and female, we read in Gen.1:
28 that He blessed them. In so doing God endowed man with power from above so
that as male and female they would be able to carry out the task God would give
them. This task (often called the cultural mandate) is recorded in the
continuation of verse 28. First of all God says, “Be fruitful and multiply, and
fill the earth and subdue it.” It is good to note that God says this after He
had blessed man. This clearly shows that also as far as conceiving children is
concerned, man could not do this in own strength. It is God alone who can open
the womb and who at times will also close it. Therefore it should not be man
who determines to have children, but it is God who gives children in His time.
There is a close connection between Gen.1: 27 and Gen. 1:
28. Because God created man male and female God enabled man to bring forth
children. It became one of the aims of marriage. This is not the only aim of
marriage, yet it is one of the aims. Therefore it is totally contrary to
Scripture when nowadays one can hear voices, even in our own circles, that
getting married does not mean that a couple also straight away has to accept
God’s blessing in receiving children. When as couple you are not yet ready for
it, for whatever reason, you can wait till a more suitable time. When reasoning
this way one wonders what is left of receiving children as a blessing of the
Lord. This not only applies to the first child, but also later on in marriage
when husband and wife must deal with the question how they can continue to be
instrumental in building Christ’s church by receiving more children from God’s
fatherly hand. It is on purpose that God did not create mankind all at once, as
He did with the angels, for example. God made man instrumental in the procreation
of the human race. That’s why this command is given in Gen. 1: 28. It is
through this command that God wanted to fill this earth with people who would
praise His Name in reflecting His image.
That’s Gen. 1. What now can we learn from this part of Scripture
with respect to today’s topic? To find out we turn to the apostle Paul who
points us to certain elements which by superficial reading we perhaps had
overlooked. Facts as that Adam was created first and afterwards the woman and
also that it was woman who yielded to the temptations of Satan, where after she
gave Adam to eat from the fruit of the tree - facts as these perhaps we would
have simply noted them without attaching much significance to it. Yet the
apostle Paul inspired by the Holy Spirit teaches us in I Tim. 2 that these are
facts with a message. It is on this order of creation that he bases his
statement that no woman is permitted to teach or to have authority over man.
“For (1 Tim. 2:13) Adam was formed
first, then Eve.” Thus the apostle points to a certain order. When Eve denied
this order and acted on own initiative without consulting her husband, things
went wrong. That’s how Satan succeeded. In 1 Cor. 11 the apostle Paul points to
this same order when he writes, vss. 8 & 9 of this chapter, “For man did
not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but
woman for man.” One cannot deny this order which has now also consequences for
the position and task of the woman.
Does this mean that man can exercise his authority without
any limits and that the only task left for a woman is to submit to this male
authority? Surely not. In 1 Cor. 11:3 the apostle Paul writes the head of the
woman is man, but the head of man is Christ. This clearly shows how a man
should exercise this authority, namely to the honour of God. Moreover God gave
the woman to man as a helper fit for him. Man on his own could not carry out
the task God had given him. He needed a helper. Well, this should make man
humble and appreciative of the woman he received from God.
As regards marriage God gave husband and wife to each other
to become one flesh. Yet as the apostle Paul writes in Eph. 5 no one tyrannises
his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church. In
this part of Eph. 5 (which is also quoted in the Form for the Solemnisation of
Marriage) the apostle Paul explains in a beautiful way the headship of the man.
In his headship over his wife the husband must show the image of Christ. Well,
Christ being the Head of the church does not rule His congregation with an iron
hand. On the contrary He gave Himself up for His congregation. That’s how a
husband should guide and love his wife. If this happens it is no longer
difficult either for a wife to be submissive to her husband. But then she
thankfully accepts his guidance and becomes willing to assist her husband in
all good things.
2.2. AFTER THE FALL INTO SIN
Thus far we have dealt with God’s wonderful order from the
beginning. The fall into sin affected also the relationship between Adam and
his wife. This becomes quite clear when Adam speaks to God about his wife as
“the woman whom Thou gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I
ate.” God Himself also addresses this relationship when He says to the woman,
“your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” In the past
these words were often seen as a certain order set by God which man should not
resist. Yet they form part of God’s curse over creation, whereby the desire of
the woman for her husband means she no longer accepts it as a matter of course
that the man is the head. The woman wants to be equal disputing the fact that
her husband has to take the lead, has to give guidance. That’s how it will be
now sin has entered this world. It will ruin also the relationship between male
and female, between husband and wife. God thus declares here that the woman
will no longer be content with the position given to her by God. Her desire
shall be to be equal to man, disputing his position, i.e. the position given to
man by God,
Man from his side shall not tolerate this. He shall hit back
lording it over the woman. He shall rule over you, says the LORD. This shows
how as a result of sin everything has been put out of joint. Instead of living
in harmony, male and female will now dispute each other’s position, even within
marriage. War breaks out between the sexes. The woman shall misuse her position
of being created as helper for the man, she shall misuse this position to fight
for herself. Whilst man from his side shall abuse his position of head to lord
it over the woman, at times even tyrannising her. Thus God’s wonderful order of
creation will turn into disorder. That’s God’s curse. And haven’t we seen this
curse coming true throughout history, not only in man exploiting the woman but
also in today’s emancipation movement: the latter opposes God’s wonderful order
from the beginning as much as the former.
Sin thus ruined also that wonderful relation between male
and female, between husband and wife. After the fall a marriage relationship is
no longer automatically good. Husband and wife do not always live in harmony;
behind the scenes there is sometimes a lot of arguing or even fighting;
physical abuse, and you name it. Yet despite all this, God did not do away with
the institution of marriage. After the fall God did not say, “this will never
work again, and therefore the two sexes should from now on always live
separately.” God kept marriage intact, whereby the husband remains the head of
his wife, and the wife a helper fit for her husband. No, then this has nothing
to do with the one being superior to the other, but instead in the place where
God has set us (be it as husband or as wife) we may help each other and
complement each other. True, then it might not always be easy to respect the
order set by God, to reflect the image of God in being head, or in being a help
for the husband. This too is something we can no longer do in own strength, but
only by power from above. Yes, only in Christ there is the assured restoration
of marriages which have been overshadowed by the consequences of sin. When
husband and wife find each other at the cross of Christ and live by that
mystery which is hidden from unbelievers, the bond which God has established
between them will grow stronger and stronger. And then as children of God they
will also use their marriage for the furtherance of God’s kingdom. Then this
will always have priority.
Thus far something about the place and position of man and
woman before and after the fall into sin. The question now is what does this
teach us with respect to today’s topic about the task of the woman and in how
far from a scriptural point of view there is room for a woman to work outside
the home?
When looking at Gen. 3:
16-19 we can come to no other conclusion than that God punishes both man and
woman in their primary task: the woman in receiving children and man in his
task to provide for livelihood. Here is a close connection with Gen. 1: 28. In
Paradise man and woman together had received the task to fill and subdue the
earth. A tremendous task. At that point of time as yet there were no children.
So man and woman could easily have said, “that can wait since there is so much
other work to do in God’s kingdom.” Even more so after the fall into sin. But
then the remarkable thing is that God punishes the woman in the area of
childbearing. Apparently this belonged to her primary task.
Thus after the fall into sin in the same way as man also the
woman was punished by God first of all in the a area where she had to fulfil
her primary task. Since Gen. 3: 16 the joy of motherhood is diluted; not only
in delivering children with pain, but also in raising the children entrusted
into our care. Many tears are cried in secret, especially when children grow
older. The joy of having children is often soured by trouble and sorrow.
However, Gen. 3:16 speaks not of punishment only, but also
of grace. For although from now on receiving and raising children will be
soured by pain and trouble, nevertheless children will be born. This means
first of all the promise of Gen. 3: 15 shall be fulfilled. The woman shall bear
seed in order that God’s plan of redemption can be fulfilled. For finally from
the seed of the woman a male child shall be borne who will crush the head of
the serpent. Moreover in this way God
wanted to fill the earth with people who once again wanted to acknowledge Him
as the only true God reflecting His image in a world full of sin. No, then man
is not able to do this in own strength. From ourselves we are unable to
counteract the forces of the evil one. That’s why we have to live by faith.
Well, that’s what also the woman has to do in fulfilling her task after the
fall into sin. I think here of what the apostle Paul writes in I Tim. 2. Among
other in this chapter he speaks about the position and task of the woman in the
congregation of Christ. He says, 2:11, “Let a woman learn in silence with all
submissiveness.” A statement by which he undergirds his argument, appealing to
what God did with creation and to what happened with the fall into sin, vss. 13
& 14. But then he continues, vs. 15, “Yet woman will be saved through
bearing children, if she continues in faith and love and holiness, with
modesty.” Of course, this does not mean that women can be saved only by bearing
children. Salvation is received by faith in Jesus Christ; it can be obtained
even if God does not give children or when one stays single, for example.
However, what I Tim. 2:15 does make clear is that caring as mother for children
is not something inferior as today’s feminist movement will have us believe. In
1 Tim. 2 the apostle Paul wants to make clear that an office bearer who teaches
and a mother who cares for her children, both are instrumental in building
God’s church. As regards man, Paul writes in 1 Tim 3:1, any one aspires to the
office of bishop, he desires a noble task.” Well, likewise it can be said about
women, if any one aspires to motherhood, she desires a noble task. In
motherhood God returns to the woman the task He had given her from the
beginning. A task which she after the fall into sin has to fulfil with pain and
sorrow, but nevertheless it is wonderful task, in the eyes of God worthy of all
honour. After all, it was only in this way that the Messiah could be borne; and
it is also only in this way that the New Jerusalem will be inhabited by the
full number of the elect. Let us, therefore thank God, that even after the fall
into sin women are called to such a wonderful and glorious task, despite the
pain and sorrow it involves.
Yet there are also single women, what about them. Perhaps I
may point them to what Paul writes in his first letter to the Corinthians, esp.
Ch. 7. A chapter in which the apostle as such does not speak negatively about
marriage as sometimes is thought, but he points out that both being married and
being unmarried is a gift of God, whereby the one gift is not more important
than the other. To the one God assigns to be married, to the other He assigns
to remain single. Yet whatever state God has assigned to us, in that state we
are called to serve Him and to lead a life that is pleasing Him. An unmarried
person has, then, to make the most of his single state to serve the LORD,
whilst a married couple has to make the most of its marriage to make it subservient
to the coming of God’s kingdom. Indeed, God calls both married couples and
single persons to serve Him. Indeed whether we married or single God’s kingdom
should always rank first in our life. Thus the primary task of a married wife
is to take proper care of her household.
(To be concluded next time).
The previous
instalment ended with the statement that the primary task of a married wife is
to take proper care of her household. This conclusion was based on Scriptural
data. In this second instalment we will have a look at more Scriptural data,
whilst we will also draw some final conclusions.
Does this now mean there is no room for a married woman with
children to work outside the home? What then about a chapter like Proverbs 31,
for example? When reading this chapter it is remarkable how active this woman
is. Her task is surely not limited to the sink and the vacuum cleaner. She is
busy with wool and flax. She cares for her house, her family, her maidens. When
she considers a field she buys it. From what she earns she plants a vineyard.
Her merchandise is profitable. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out
to the needy. She makes clothing for her family and for herself. She is also a
wise a loving counsellor. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of
kindness is on her tongue. And yet this woman does not compete with her
husband. On the contrary, all her activities are part of her God given task to
be a good help meet for her husband. That’s how this acrostic starts, vss. 11
& 12, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of
gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” And that’s
how it also ends, “Her works praise her in the gates,” vs. 31.
Yet it is her husband, and not she, who sits among the
elders. This does not mean that her husband was unemployed, lazy, good-for-
nothing, who sits by the gate of the city while his wife works her fingers to
the bone. No, the gate of the city was the place where the elders of Israel were
gathered. There they were busy with the rule of the nation; there they were
judging the matters of the church. So the husband of this woman had an honoured
position. Yet at the same time this husband was also honoured with having a
virtuous wife, who looked well after his family and business. Indeed this care
for her husband and children runs through this acrostic like a continuous
thread. All the activities of this woman are aimed at good care for her family.
She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and
portions for her maidens. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all
her household are clothed in scarlet. She looks well to the ways of her
household. As a result children rise up and call her blessed and so does her husband
speaking highly of his wife. This is the virtuous woman according to Scripture:
her attention is directed to her husband arid children.
This woman of Proverbs 31 is indeed a woman of many virtues,
but the root of them all is found in the conclusion of vs. 30. She is a woman
who fears the LORD. It is this fear of the LORD that determines her activities.
She does not forsake marriage in order to pursue a career. She does not live a
glamorous life in the sphere of the work place, seeking the fulfilment and the
rewards that the women of this world seek, giving her marriage and family a
second place to her career. Quite the contrary, the kingdom of this wife in
Israel is the home V27. “she looks well to the ways of her household”. This is
completely in line with what we read in Proverbs 16:1, the wise woman builds
her house.
Today there are those who appeal to Proverbs 31 to prove
that a godly wife can have at the same time a family and a career outside of
the household.[10]
They point to vs. 16, for example, and say this virtuous woman was a real
estate agent. Yet this verse does not say this at all. But it speaks about
adding a field to the family estate. This woman does all this for the good of
her husband and her family. For - vs 16b - she buys this field to make it
fruitful, planting a vineyard for the supply of her household. Others point to
vs. 24 and say it looks like she had a retail clothing business, since she
makes linen garments and sells them. Yet why not consider this as working at
home in order to provide her household with a little extra income by delivering
to the merchants the clothing she made. Notice also the place of this
particular text. She makes this fine linen, these girdles, only after taking
care of all her other labours. Only after providing her family with good meals
and winter clothing etc., does she turn to her projects for the merchants. There
is nothing in this passage to suggest that this woman divides her interest
between household and career. And this is not because this woman is stuck in
the home since she cannot afford day care for her children but she does all
this work because she ought to do it and because she wants to do it, for the
fear of the LORD and for the sake of her husband.[11]
Of course when reading Proverbs 31 we should keep in mind
the differences in position between a house-wife in Israel and to- day’s
house-wife. The daily life of the wives in Israel was completely interwoven
with that of their husbands. In today’s society there is not much left of that.
Due to all kind of social developments, e.g. industrial revolution and
urbanization, there is no longer that close connection between family and work.
Yet despite all these differences Proverbs xxxi still teaches us the priorities
for a ‘working-woman’, even in this last decade of the 20th century. Her first
task is to care for husband and family and this in the most broadest way, which
when the need arise may also mean: not only vacuum cleaning but perhaps also
some work on the computer to help her husband in the business. In fact no one
can run a business well, when he doesn’t have the back up of a virtuous wife.
And this applies to many jobs, even in the church. What can an elder do, for
example, when spending many evening away from home, if he did not know his family
was in the good care of his wife.
2.4 THE NEW TESTAMENT ECHO
The apostle Paul writing his pastoral letters echoes this
important message of Proverbs 31. If I may mention just a few examples. In I
Tim. v 14 he writes, “So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, rule
their households, and give the enemy no occasion to revile.” Earlier on I
already pointed to 1 Tim. 2:15, where Paul writes, “Yet woman will be saved
through bearing children, if she continues in faith and love and holiness, with
modesty.” I also think of Titus 2: 4 & 5, “Train the young women to love
their husbands and children, to be sensible, chaste, domestic, kind, and
submissive to their husbands, that the word of God may not be discredited.”
Finally, 1 Tim. v 9,10, “Let a widow be enrolled. - and she must be well
attested for her good deeds, as one who has brought up children, shown
hospitality, washed the feet of the saints, relieved the afflicted, and devoted
herself to doing good in every way.” The Form for the Solemnization for
Marriage summarizes this role of the wives as follows, “Take proper care of
your family and household, and live modestly, in faith, love and holiness.”
3. CONCLUSIONS
Having gone through some scriptural data, I would like to
finish off with some conclusions.
a. One
cannot deny that the position of the woman has changed throughout the ages,
especially due to all kind of social developments. Before the industrial
revolution the family was much more a family at large, whereby more often than
not three or even four generations lived under one roof. Within this family at
large each member had his own specific task. Within the setting of an
agricultural society the father was working outside the house on the field and
his wife often gave him a helping hand together with the grownup children.
Grandfather did all kind of jobs around the house, whilst grandmother looked
after the other children, did the cooking, yes more or less ran the household.
Such a family at large was at the same time a little self-supporting economical
unit. In the same way as it is pictured in Proverbs 31. I think that mothers of
families within the lower brackets who lived before the industrial revolution
could identify much better with the woman described in this portion of
Scripture than nowadays mothers.
As a result of the industrial revolution which was followed by the
urbanization (more and more people moved towards the city), family life changed
as well. The wails around the family became so to speak more porous, influences
from outside became much stronger. In the second half of the 20th century these
dangerous influences from outside became even more serious when radio and TV
received a place within most of the living rooms.
At the same time the task of the mother within the family became easier.
She no longer had to help her husband out in the field, whilst in addition she
also received more and more modem help within the house: automatic washing
machines, dishwashers, microwaves, etc. As a result she had more time on her
sleeves. What to do with it? This question became even more urgent, now most
females also have followed some studies and want to do something with it.
Yet if I may now comment on these developments, the first thing I would
like to say is that although the task of being housewife has become easier, the
task of a mother has become more difficult. I now think of the tremendous task
of raising the seed of the covenant in a secular society. True, here lies a
task both for mother and father, but at the same time mother often is the pivot
in the centre to whom the children come first. Mother plays an important role
when it comes to the climate, the atmosphere within the family. She indeed is
the one who can make or break it whether the home is a real home both for her
children and her husband. I think a working mother needs too much time for
other things, instead of always being there when she is needed.
b. Having
said all this I do not mean to say that everything should come on the shoulders
of the mother. A husband should wherever possible give his wife a helping hand
within the family. This too belongs to “helping each other faithfully in all
things that belong to this life and to the live to come,” which in the Form for
the Solemnization of Marriage is mentioned as the first purpose of marriage.
Husband and wife should not live each their separate life but have interest for
each 0ther, also in the things they do during the day. Again, when mother has
next to her task within the family a permanent job outside the home, so easily it
can happen that husband and wife live alongside each other, due to time
restraint have hardly any time for each other, and in the long run this will
also have its negative effect on the children. On the other hand a harmonious
marriage will have positive effects on the children.
c. When
the husband is the sole bread-winner, this does not mean that his wife can only
hold out her hand to receive the money she needs. It should not be that weekly
she receives a certain amount of money, whilst her husband can’t be bothered
whether or not she is able to manage. Husband and wife are both responsible for
looking after the family also financially, even when the husband is the sole
breadwinner.
d. Does
this now mean that a married woman with children should never be working in a
job outside the home for an income? Having gone through some scriptural data we
must conclude that the Bible doesn’t give us a clear cut answer to this
question. Today’s secular viewpoint is that a woman’s prime goal in life should
be to achieve equality. Working outside the home is seen as a liberating force
and as an advancement. I don’t think that anyone of you would subscribe to this
viewpoint. And yet there seems to be a trend also among us whereby it is no longer
seen as wrong when a married woman with children takes up a job outside the
home. As soon as the youngest child starts school full-time mothers become
restless and try to look for something else. They feel empty-handed, sometimes
useless. And therefore they seek for a job outside the home and work along with
their secular counterparts. And of course now you want to hear from me today
whether this is right or wrong. Let me summarize my answer as follows:
-
Under certain exceptional circumstances it may
be necessary for a mother to earn money, e.g. due to financial strain within
the family. Although don’t have the deacons then a task? Especially when it
would mean that mother can no longer be a real mother for her children. This is
indeed the determining factor. It should not be that children after school come
home and cannot find their mother. This is the time that mother is needed. For
this reason it is not good either that then a mother still has to do all the
house-work, since during school hours she went out to work.
-
Each family is different and has different
needs. Therefore it is difficult to give an uniform answer to the question
whether a married woman with children may never look for a job outside the
home. Yet the bottom line remains: the primary task of women in the church is to
raise families, and when the children grow older and we find more time we
should first look for doing good within the family at large, the communion of
saints. That’s the Biblical rule. Even if we have time we should not first of
all think of ourselves, but of others within the household of faith.
4. CONCLUDING REMARKS
More could be said, but it is time to close off. I think we
should be very careful that we do not let a worldly lifestyle creep into the
church, not even subconsciously. A next generation would not see any wrong with
it at all. It is this next generation that we should be concerned about and
therefore a mother needs to spend time with her children. No, she is not the
only one. Fathers should not neglect their task either. Nevertheless it is a mother
that makes the home. Make sure then that you are always there whenever your
children need you. After all, to be a mother is the most wonderful task and
also the most honourable task God has given to a woman in His kingdom.
* Note: On December 7, 1994 I delivered a paper at Women’s
League Day. The request was made to publish this paper in Una Sancta. I have
not edited it, but it is published in the same way as I delivered it that day.
REFERENCES:
[1] ‘The
Heart of the Matter’ - Discussion paper prepared by the National Council for
the International Year of the Family, March 1994, page 1.
[8] Quoted
from Rev W Pouwelse, A SPIRITUAL HOUSE, Ch. VI, ‘The task of a mother in a
family,” Page 54.
[9] For this
part of the paper I have gleaned some material from Rev. Steven Kay, “A
virtuous woman,” in FAR ABOVE RUBIES, Grand Rapids 1992.
[10] See for
the examples c.w. page 12.
